Parenting Tip #2 Ask Questions

As I stated in my last post, I am a naturally curious person.  I want to know what people are thinking, feeling, what their family is like, what their family history is, etc.  So, of course, that means I ask a lot of questions.  Not just "how was your day" but "what's going on with your family", "what's going good at school", "what's challenging at school".  My now husband saw that as I was getting to know his kids, they would tell me more about their school week despite him being with them for the 3 hours before I came home from work.  He recognized he needed to change the way he asked questions.  For example, he now asks the kids "what's the new drama at school, with your friends, etc".  As he pointed out to me, he asks more specific & significant questions. When my stepdaughter used to sync her iPod to my laptop, I noticed that she had a lot of pictures of cutting.  The next time I saw her, I asked her directly about the pictures & expressed my concerns.  She was clear with me that she was not cutting & was worried about an Instagram friend who was posting a lot about cutting.  She explained that she was trying to be supportive.  I encouraged her to tell one of us adults know what is going on so we can support her to.  Because she is used to me asking questions, she was not surprised & seemed comfortable answering my questions. What helps both my husband & I ask questions, is our ability to Listen without Reacting.  Sometimes when you ask the question, you may or definitely will, have feelings about the response.  Having feelings is ok but it may not be the time or place to share them. Asking questions & not reacting when listening can build trust in your relationship with your kids.