Let's be honest, we are our kids biggest cheerleader. It is important to remember that. It is easy to criticize & focus on the negative but it is vital that we focus on the positive & acknowledge it often. Praise, kind & loving words go farther than anger, criticism & raising our voices. Yes there are times we have to set limits & give consequences. Yes there are times we need to give critical feedback. I think it is important to consider how we talk to our kids & give critical feedback. One of the strategies I have found to be effective is to give Positive Feedback, Critical Feedback & Positive Feedback. Some people call this the Kiss, Kick, Kiss method.
An example of this is "Honey, you did a great job cleaning your room. I noticed that you forgot to pick up your clothes & put them in the laundry basket. Will you please do that now? Thank you for doing a great job listening! Love you!"
I realize my example may seem exaggerated & I did that purposely. Sometimes we have to exaggerate to get our point across. Our kids are in many situations where they receive negative attention & feedback including school. And if they struggle with paying attention, fidgeting, impulsivity, for example, they receive a lot of negative feedback (i.e. "sit still," "pay attention," "stop talking"). Simple directions can be perceived/interpreted as negative.
It is important that we catch our kids doing good & tell them when we see it! Just as I have said previously how important it is to tell our kids we love them, it is equally important that we praise them when they are doing good & behaving appropriately.